Stepparents in high conflict co-parenting situations undoubtedly encounter distinct challenges that can put a strain on their relationships and affect their overall peace of mind. In Coach Michelle’s latest podcast with Christina of The Radical Stepmom, they delve into those issues.* At High Conflict Resolutions, our Coaches are here to help you navigate these stressful times!

The holiday season often seems to be brimming with happiness and joy, festivities like latkes and lights or trimming the Christmas tree, leaving no room for anything else, doesn't it? It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking this way, especially when we glance at social media and see those seemingly flawless family images, with everyone in matching holiday pajamas, cheerfully singing Christmas carols while adorning their beautifully decorated trees.

Attention seeking behavior in a narcissist, whether it’s positive or negative attention, is what is referred to as filling their “narcissistic supply”.  Despite their façade of confidence, a narcissist lacks positive self-esteem and self-image, thus requiring them to seek validation from others.  They crave attention and adoration. Deep down, they actually feel undesirable, but work diligently to hold up their mask of confidence. Narcissists use other people around them to provide them with their necessary “supply”.  

Ending a relationship with a co-parent who has a high conflict personality can be challenging for multiple reasons. One of the most significant difficulties will be learning how to co-parent with them in a way that allows you to disengage from their attempt to draw you into conflict, yet does not make the children feel that they are placed in the middle.

Even the most basic co-parenting decisions tend to create conflict in a high conflict co-parenting relationship. Try implementing these tips to reduce the amount of overall conflict. It’s important to note, however, that if you’re already co-parenting with a high conflict personality, whether they have narcissistic personality disorder, borderline, or something else, they may resist your implementation of these tips, but that doesn’t mean you should avoid them.

Perhaps one of the worst places to deal with a high-conflict personality is in court – especially if it’s your co-parent and you’re fighting over custody. If you ever find yourself in this situation, prepare yourself to be bushwhacked by Oscar-worthy performances that may convince even the most skeptical judge that you’re the one creating conflict and your co-parent is the victim.

In an ideal world, divorces would always end peacefully and amicably, with no hostility between the parents. Unfortunately, resentment, anger, dysfunctional communication styles and often high conflict personalities don’t simply dissipate after the divorce papers are signed and often continue for years to come, especially when children are involved.

Ending a marriage or relationship with someone who is high conflict by nature can become extremely exhausting, emotionally draining, and mentally challenging – especially if you need to keep in touch for the sake of your children.